so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I currently don't understand fingers.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
