My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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