his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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