Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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