she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Come share oat with me in your robe
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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