btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
