Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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