Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Randomize
