I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
