it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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