THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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