are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
But break dance skills will only take you so far
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
