Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
