i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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