does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
