You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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