ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
