Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
