Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
