i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
