Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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