Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
