I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
