need another drink. this is the easiest way
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
