Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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