is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
