no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
