farters have to be the big spoon...
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
