how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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