Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
