also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
