I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Randomize
