My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
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