I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
