If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
