Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
