Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
