Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
