Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
