Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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