I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
