in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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