I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
