no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
