No awkward lesbian experiences without me
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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