ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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