He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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