She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
