well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
