Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
