i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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