Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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