I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
