He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
My sheets look like a crime scene.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize