Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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