i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
